My Pink Roadmap

For as back far as I can remember, I was always searching for something. I looked for ‘it’ everywhere: boyfriends, churches, books, family, friends, conversations, new cities, new places, writing.  I never knew what it was that I was looking for and I most certainly had no idea that I was searching for it. I moved to Austin when I was 19 to venture out on my own. I left with little to no money, a few of my personal items and my boyfriend at the time. I just knew I had to get away from where I was or I would never leave, I would never get anywhere. I had always had this incredible urge to just ‘go,’ which led me to running away from a lot of things. After I was in Austin for a month or so, I received a card (one of many) from my Dad that said, ‘I love you and hope you are doing well. I hope you find whatever it is you are looking for.’ This was a realization to me; everyone else can see that I am searching for something.

When I got Austin I became employed with Crystal Mountain Animal Hospital, a fabulous holistic animal clinic with an extraordinary team of animal lovers. Through my boss, Charles Vandermause I was introduced to The Landmark Forum which allowed me understand me and others on an entirely new level. I was able to forgive, release anger and get down to the basics of love. My search ended after that first course. I learned that everything I needed was inside of me all along. We are all born with what we need to develop and find our purpose, after-all everything exists only in our mind, who knew?! This was a valuable lesson for me at 19 years old. Charles Vandermause has been a ‘God’ to me ever sense.

I sit here, trying to think of a particular moment that changed my life. Though taking the Landmark Forum was definitely one of the moments, I don’t feel that it is the explanation for who I am today and why I have come so far along on this spiritual journey.  When you get down to the nitty gritty of things, ever ‘aha moment’ we encounter is what compiles to create who we are today. For me, giving credit to just one instance would not do my life justice.

Austin, Landmark, Charles Vandermause was where my journey really started. It was the first step in what got me where I am today, but between then and now- oh Lordy. It’s only been 4 years- wow. It definitely feels like a lifetime. In conclusion, writing this ‘aha moment’ post for me is in itself, a moment. It is easy to dismiss the circumstances we go through as insignificant because we are waiting for that one big moment when all of our dreams are coming true. But the fact is, all of the little things along the way are the true miracles getting to where we need be, to snowball into that one BIG thing.

If you take the time to notice all of the minor miracles along the way and stand in awe what is taking place, when you finally get to that BIG dream of yours, it won’t seem so unbelievable, so scary and big. Looking back at all of the things you already overcame and accomplished will give you the courage you need to get there and own it.

After all, ‘It’s not the destination, but the journey that gets you there.’