My Pink Roadmap

Growing up, most of us are taught that finding our happiness means we must ‘get’ something outside of ourselves that allows us to achieve this emotion. In actuality the circumstances of happiness are quite the contrary.

When we are kids we believe that unless we get that shiny new bike, the new Malibu Stacey Doll or the video game that ‘all our friends have,’ our lives will be ruined. In most situations our parents, grandparents, aunts or uncles go out of their way to purchase these ‘crucial’ items for us in order to satisfy our adolescent need for happiness. If our elders can’t afford the toys we are yearning for, sometimes we are supplemented with something similar or temporary until the true prize can be received- still implementing the concept that without these items will not be truly happy.

As we enter our teenage years the same circumstances apply, however the objects differ. Instead of ‘needing’ toys and games to maintain happiness it changes to clothes, boyfriends or girlfriends, cars, jewelry, hair cuts and colors, and being friends with the right people. We can all see our own children, nieces, nephews and neighborhood kids behaving this way. We can also remember when we were younger, and placed value upon material things that we were sure, would certainly bring us eternal happiness. 

However, what some us fail to realize is that there is not automatic switch that turns off once we leave High School and enter into adulthood. For most of is looking outside of ourselves for happiness is a behavior that we have grown comfortable with. Sure it might not be as much of a material need as when we were younger, or it indeed, might be. ‘I won’t be happy until I get that new iPhone’ or ‘When I lose 10 lbs. my whole world will be brighter’ and ‘If I could just find the right man in my life, boy, would things be wonderful.’ Where does it stop? At what point will we see that all we really need to be happy lies within ourselves?

Whether choose to believe it or not, happiness is choice, as is any other emotion, i.e. anger, frustration, being irritable, being upset- it is all a decision left in our hands to decide whether the emotion we are experiencing serves us in a positive way. As easily as we can say ‘If my husband would just help out around the house, I wouldn’t be so angry at him’ we can alter our thoughts to ‘If my husband does or does not do the dishes, it does not affect my way of being, I choose to be joyful.’

In reality, we have no control over the existential circumstances of our lives. When it comes down to it, the only thing we have a say over is our actions, our thoughts, feelings and emotions. Letting another persons actions sway your moods gives away all your power. When there is a loss of power, there is a crack in the foundation. Own your emotions, decide to be happy, chose to act- no react. There is no point in waiting for something to come to you to experience joy when you can have it right now.

Thanks for reading Pinkies,
Megan