My Pink Roadmap

Many things have happened in the past twelve hours that have stirred my emotions. I got my message from the universe (hopefully some will know what I'm talking about) and it said: "What if the word victim could be redefined into something closer to hero, Heather, recognizing that the paths some have tread will spare others from the same? Save the day again Heather!". I've never really thought of myself as a victim. I guess that's never been something I've really used to describe myself and the trials in my life. It got me thinking.

We are all, at times, classified as victims. Victims of our circumstances, but it's what we choose to do with those circumstances that is key. Will I choose to make myself into a hero? Will I see it as an opportunity to make a difference in my life and then the lives of others? Most of you from personal experience know that one small action has a way of rippling out and touching the lives of people you don't even mean to, some you'll never even come in contact with. Some things that you've set into motion, you'll never know the true effect. Just imagine the possibilities!

Its hard sometimes, not to let myself fall 'victim' to my circumstances, to my past, to my present. It's hard to keep reminding myself that the past and the future are just an illusion (thanks Megan for the reminder, been on my mind since our chat) and all I have is right now, this moment and I should appreciate it and live in it. It becomes difficult at times not to let my circumstances envelope me and take me to the depth that only evil can, but I feel that sometimes we have to reach those depths, the ones where we don't think we are going to survive, because when we do, our outlook is so much different. Almost like a light turning on, or at least that's what happened with me, once I saw it, I knew I could never un-see it. Its stuck forever in my mind....

And then the changing begins, it always starts with us, our actions, our thoughts. Which for me, was, and at times still is the hardest thing to realize, that I had and have to continually change, break those old habits, that I need to make my mind over. It's almost like somethings taken over, changed me piece by piece. I know I still have a long journey ahead of me, to be ultimately proud of all my actions. I still have moments where I cants stand what I think, how I feel, how I react or what I say. When I let my pain, fear, and frustration well up and spill out onto the things and people in my life that aren't connected to that damaged part in me. To those moments that made me who I am, and are a part of who I will end up being. I've realized that having those broken parts won't forever make me broken...sometimes I don't recognize who I use to be, and I like that, I like knowing that with choices I made, I was able to make my life move in a better direction.

So for now I press on, continue trying, no matter how many times I stumble, I know who and what I want to be, which is a gentle, loving person, who can change peoples lives in a positive way, how I get there exactly....well I'm not sure, but I'm excited to find out. So until I can get all the evil parts out of me. All those moments that somehow seem to take over my being, I'm going to choose differently. I'm going to choose to focus on the glorious moments, those moments like getting my hair done with Stevi, getting Shanika's hair done :), meeting someone of like spirit, hanging out with my girlfriends, reading encouraging words that touch my spirit and impact my life, finally going to school, flowers from someone special! All those little moments that make life fantabulous! Because if you think about it, that's all we have.... moments....and I want to make the most of mine. We all know how that butterfly effect goes, something small turns into a mountain moved. Set your intention today, what are you going to do to make a difference in the moments you have left?

And finally, I'd like to leave you with two of my favorite quotes from Mahatma Gandi.

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."

"A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes."

So what are you thinking about?

<3 wink! Meow!

Heather~Lucky

Our great numerologist friend, Kristen Ernst is back, Pinkies! Here with a special report of what 11-11-09 is really all about. Hold on to your seat and prepare yourself for the wave of energetic intuition that is about to come over you. Enjoy the read Pinkies!

PS. Don't forget to stop by and purchase one of Kristen's very comfy & affordable T-shirts.

Numerology of Today: 11-11-09 which translates to 11-11-11 First and foremost I want to appreciate and pay homage to all the veterans of the United States as today celebrates our military heroes & heroines. Thank you for giving of yourselves to better our blessed country. Thank you and much, much love & peace to you all!

Now, on to the numbers of this much anticipated day! The energy is quite amazing for today and I'm loving the connections in the analysis as I've looked at the Chakra connections with the number vibrations.  It is a 6 day, generally, when you add up all the numbers of 11-11-2009; however we have six 1s in there, which add to 2, then further adding to 6. So, there are 3 important vibrations to look at today - the 6, the 2 and the 1.

First let's look at the 6- The 6 represents mother earth and a divine connection to nurturing and care of others. It is also a business number and has quite a leadership & creative quality (which synchs with the leadership/creative vibe in all of those number 1s). Going a bit deeper into the realm of energy, the 6 translates to the Ajna or Third Eye Chakra - which is located at the brow (on the head) & is linked with the pineal gland. Interestingly enough the Third Eye Chakra has been represented by a lotus flower with 2 petals. The Third Eye is all about intuition and visual consciousness (which is also a strong trait of the 2). This day suggests that we look at inner guidance & the balance between our physical and spiritual selves. Colors associated with this Chakra are represented by indigo or deep blues. The 2 represents peace and a divine connection with harmony, love and intuition. It is a persuasive vibration, also carrying business qualities (like the 6) and is the most efficient vibration in carrying out mediation and utmost sincerity. Going a bit deeper into the realm of energy, the 2 translates to the Svadhisthana or Sacral Chakra - located near the base of the spine (sacrum) & is linked with the reproductive organs. Interestingly enough the Sacral Chakra has been represented by a lotus flower with 6 petals. The Sacral Chakra is all about relationships, pleasure, addictions, emotional needs & enthusiasm. This day suggests that we not only look at balancing our inner guidance (6th Chakra), but also our cravings and desires in the physical world - Know that you have everything that you need right at this moment. The color associated with this chakra is represented by orange - and how COOL it is that orange (2nd Chakra) is the complementary color to blue (the 6th Chakra).All of those 1s in today's numerology represents leadership and a divine connection with creativity & uniqueness. It is a pioneering vibration which carries a fresh and "new" energy with it.

Going a bit deeper into the realm of energy, the 1 translates to the Muladhara or Root Chakra - located below the Sacral Chakra & linked to a very male vibration, relating to the gonads & the fight-or-flight response. The Root Chakra is represented by a lotus flower with 4 (2 is the square root of 4 :) petals and is all about security, potential, stability and instincts. All of the 1s in this day suggests that we OWN our power and our potential; that we balance any obsessions and insecurities with self-love, confidence and a deep knowing of our ability to survive and power through anything! The color associated with this chakra is represented by red (the color of fire, desire and drive!)All in all, this day has huge emphasis and a grand connection with peace, love-of-self, intuition & nurturing. I ask you, on this day, to make some kind of commitment to peace. Whether it is with your self, with another, or all of the above... When we have self-love and peace in our hearts, the energy radiates to every nook and cranny of the Universe. Energy is designed to flow that way and that easily. Please, think of peace today... think of nurturing... think of love and know that what we think about, is really what we ARE and definitely what we attract!

Much love and peace to you all on this amazing day...
Kristen Ernst

For as back far as I can remember, I was always searching for something. I looked for ‘it’ everywhere: boyfriends, churches, books, family, friends, conversations, new cities, new places, writing.  I never knew what it was that I was looking for and I most certainly had no idea that I was searching for it. I moved to Austin when I was 19 to venture out on my own. I left with little to no money, a few of my personal items and my boyfriend at the time. I just knew I had to get away from where I was or I would never leave, I would never get anywhere. I had always had this incredible urge to just ‘go,’ which led me to running away from a lot of things. After I was in Austin for a month or so, I received a card (one of many) from my Dad that said, ‘I love you and hope you are doing well. I hope you find whatever it is you are looking for.’ This was a realization to me; everyone else can see that I am searching for something.

When I got Austin I became employed with Crystal Mountain Animal Hospital, a fabulous holistic animal clinic with an extraordinary team of animal lovers. Through my boss, Charles Vandermause I was introduced to The Landmark Forum which allowed me understand me and others on an entirely new level. I was able to forgive, release anger and get down to the basics of love. My search ended after that first course. I learned that everything I needed was inside of me all along. We are all born with what we need to develop and find our purpose, after-all everything exists only in our mind, who knew?! This was a valuable lesson for me at 19 years old. Charles Vandermause has been a ‘God’ to me ever sense.

I sit here, trying to think of a particular moment that changed my life. Though taking the Landmark Forum was definitely one of the moments, I don’t feel that it is the explanation for who I am today and why I have come so far along on this spiritual journey.  When you get down to the nitty gritty of things, ever ‘aha moment’ we encounter is what compiles to create who we are today. For me, giving credit to just one instance would not do my life justice.

Austin, Landmark, Charles Vandermause was where my journey really started. It was the first step in what got me where I am today, but between then and now- oh Lordy. It’s only been 4 years- wow. It definitely feels like a lifetime. In conclusion, writing this ‘aha moment’ post for me is in itself, a moment. It is easy to dismiss the circumstances we go through as insignificant because we are waiting for that one big moment when all of our dreams are coming true. But the fact is, all of the little things along the way are the true miracles getting to where we need be, to snowball into that one BIG thing.

If you take the time to notice all of the minor miracles along the way and stand in awe what is taking place, when you finally get to that BIG dream of yours, it won’t seem so unbelievable, so scary and big. Looking back at all of the things you already overcame and accomplished will give you the courage you need to get there and own it.

After all, ‘It’s not the destination, but the journey that gets you there.’

Nearly five years ago, about the time I began really believing in the power of my thoughts and divine ”coincidences”, I was led to a book called “When God Winks” – How the Power of Coincidence Guides Your Life. The author writes to the reader, saying “This book will validate your feelings that there’s more to coincidence than meets the eye. It also fosters hope for the dreams of your future by unveiling the wondrous map that has quietly guided you along the paths of your past. God has been winking at you.” –SQuire Rushnell (yes, the Q is supposed to be capitalized). This book was only the beginning of learning to accept the unfolding pages of my life and becoming acutely aware that there are no coincidences.

I am a realtor and have been so for a decade. That’s 10 years of my life people. It is not my dream job….and yet I can tell you with absolute conviction that this is where I am supposed to be for now. The people I have met, ”experts” I have followed (or read their book), the experiences I have had, the tears I have shed, the  difficult choices I’ve had to make, the families I have helped, even the ones who disliked me in the end, have all been part of a journey. Who I am today is barely recognizable to even myself from the person I was 10 years ago. The real issue I have is that I don’t understand my destination. And truly, I’m okay with that most of the time. They says it’s all in the journey anyway.

Yesterday I woke up feeling completely insignificant to humanity. Once again I found myself crying to my husband about life now, and in the future. In these times, my real estate career has suffered a bit and my commitment and enthusiasm have been tested. When I’m not making money, I begin to question my value. I’ve been a working girl since I was 12 years old, and independence may as well be my middle name. And yet, over the last year or so I’ve become somewhat Dependent and have also began to have an interest in other things – acknowledgement, gratitude, joy, inspiration, hope…love. Expressing it, experiencing it and passing it along to whoever will listen and play along. It’s simply amazing to me how people, women in particular, are hurting, feeling under-valued, questioning their validity and purpose and so much more. Speaking of which – I’d like to interject a little comment about “purpose”. I’m not entirely convinced that we have a single purpose in our life. My experience and attention to life is demonstrating to me that our purpose changes with the seasons of our life. So don’t get too hung up if you haven’t yet found your purpose. Just ask yourself what your purpose is in the moment and act on that. Otherwise I promise you a mental breakdown is forthcoming. Annnnywaaaay…..

Yesterday I sat in our monthly PTA meeting for the high school. We are preparing for Red Ribbon Week – a week-long event which promotes kids staying away from drugs. Many high schoolers are planning a pledge activity to avoid drugs and in return being given a raffle ticket to win a red Ipod, for which the PTA will pay for. I decided to reach out to the world of Facebook and Twitter to see if I could find a donor to pay for the Ipod for the cause. Within an hour of my post, I was asked by a friend of mine where to mail the check. I was astounded and grateful and actually questioned whether or not she was sure about that. Her comment to me was”You do good work, and anything I can do to support.”  This morning, completely unrelated, a friend of mine called and said she needed a pep talk and told me she knew I was the one who could help. And yet another person wrote to me today thanking me for my positivity and inspiration. And to think yesterday morning I was feeling unnecessary and worthless.

God winked at me in the last 24 hours, letting me know I am on the right path. And this path I’m on includes my desire to serve, inspire, get involved, encourage, cheer from the sidelines, motivate, and love….. and the reason I know this is because it literally lights me up! Which finally brings me to my point. My message to you is not to preach about how great I am. That is never my intention AT ALL. My intention is to serve as an example, and to remind you (and myself) to follow that inner voice, the one that keeps encouraging you to do the things you love, even though you have no idea how it will pay the bills or serve anyone. Sometimes the breakdowns we experience and the resulting questions that arise are the catalyst to where we should be headed. Appreciate your past, embrace the now, and try your best not to worry too much about the future (note to self). Hold on tightly to the belief and knowing that God is winking at us and there are no coincidences. And sometimes, often, the winks come to us not a single minute before they’re supposed to….and those fleeting moments of certainty help keep us going.

*Wink*

 

I can't remember if I mentioned this in any of my other posts, but since writing about my emotions helps me work through them, I wanted to release some words and hopefully some angst as well.

Last week, I stopped looking at the stats on my website. I stopped looking at the stats because I found myself almost depressed that the numbers had dropped. I couldn't figure out why I had gotten this sudden spike and then BOOM, out of no where my appealing and exciting numbers were gone.

Keeping myself from looking at the statistics of my site has had more of a toll on me than I had anticipated. Today, I woke up and went for my walk and it was fabulous, but when I got home to work, I felt so drained that I couldn't talk myself out of needing a nap. My nap turned into a long slumber that last for 4 hours. I took this as a sign that I needed to start taking my vitamins and also confront what has been going on for me.

The conclusion I have come to is that I am stopping myself from moving forward. Whether I want to accept it or not, I took the lowering of the stats on my website as a sign of failure, as silly as that sounds, it's true.

I had my first workshop in October that was a complete success, (I decided to hold off on more until January so I didn't have deal with working around the Holiday season) I have created a group of women that is committed to living happy, healthy lives and offering support to each other in the process, I have everyone around me enrolled in this concept of me being/wanting to be a professional speaker and traveling the world to host workshops, except for me.

WOW. PROFOUND. WHO KNEW?!

This is why I write, it always gives me the answers. What a incredible persuasive communicator I must be to have everyone around my convinced of this person that I want to be. Either that or, I really am that person, I am doing all of the things I put my mind to, things are falling into place and they are working together. Each event, another stepping stone.

Dear Megan,

You are a rockstar, Lovemuffin Extraordinaire. You are capable of rearranging your energy to bring whatever it is you want in life closer to you and in fact, into existence. Get out of your own way and get that ball rolling again. Believe in yourself! You are the only one who can take action on these incredible dreams you have. It would be selfish of you to deprive the world of what you are setting out to do.

Rock On,
Megan

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

"It was great, Dad."

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

"Oh yeah," said the son.

"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

The son answered:

"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?

Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

When I was a child I was not brought up in a church environment, (although my parents said they took me a couple times) I was not told worship any particular God and I most certainly was not brought up to believe that any particular religion was right or wrong. My parents simply didn’t address the issue.

Through out my teen years it was brought to my attention that my Father had longed searched for a God that suited him. He tried on every religion there was and never seemed to settle comfortably into one belief- this qued my curiosity as well. When I was about 14 I started going to church with friends, looking into Buddhism and developing my own ideas on what it meant to have ‘God’ in my life.

I soon settled on the thought that all religion originated from one place and it was interpreted differently throughout the entire world. I focused on many of the Buddhist principles that encouraged peace, love and generosity. Heck, I even got a tattoo of Buddha that symbolizes Peace & Enlightenment.

Some of us, perhaps most of us, were raised in a society where it was taught that God is there to watch over us, but should we step out of line his forgiveness is not easy to come by. From time to time, some of us might even be doomed to Hell for not following his word, for being Gay, for not going to church, or for not accepting him as our personal savior. I don’t know about you, but the concept of a God turning his back on me when I needed him most turned me off. It made me not want to know God at all.

I started calling my higher power The Universe. The term, ‘The Universe’ was freeing for me. It did not carry any negative connotation, there was no guilt, no shame, just enlightenment, peace and inspiration. Through Mike Dooley’s speaking, I learned that the power to alter my life and way of being was in my thoughts. I have practiced ‘Thoughts Become Things’ for 3 years now and have created a world that I never imagined existing.

It wasn’t until a few weeks ago, that my world started to shift far beyond what I deemed possible. My perception of God and all that he is was altered and my world opened up. I received a gift in the mail from my good friend, Leslee Horner- a book, entitled ‘A Return to Love’ by Marianne Williamson. I doubt Leslee realized what a profound impact this gift would have on my life at the time she bought it for me. Every page I turned, every chapter I entered brought me to a new platform of my knowledge of God.

‘A Return to Love’ teaches that God is Love- nothing more, nothing less. God does not wish to punish us; he wants to heal us, to shift our perception of reality. Our soul purpose for existing is to be love.

 

Human relationships exist to produce love. When we pollute our relationships with unloving thoughts, or destroy or abort them with unloving attitudes, we are threatening our emotional survival.

 

In that moment it became clear to me. The solution to all my conflicts was love. Returning my thoughts to love at any moment of despair, anger, especially fear would be a miracle, a break through in how I have been living my life.

Perhaps the most important moment of realization was when I was on vacation this past week. I found myself standing in waves of the ocean on a dark beach with nothing but the stars above me. In that moment, I Surrendered. I Surrendered my life, my thoughts, my goals, my relationships, my hopes, my dreams, my ambitions, my future; I handed all over to God.

 

We are simply asked to shift focus and to take on a more gently perception. That’s all God needs. Just one sincere surrendered moment, when love matters more than anything, and we know that nothings else really matters at all. What He gives us in return for our openness to Him, is an outpouring of His power from deep within us. We are given His power to share with world, to heal wounds, to awaken hearts.

 

If my purpose here on earth is to be a vessel for God’s love- I’m down. Who needs some lovin’?!

 

What about you Pinkies, have you been hiding from the love of God, from the love of our Universe? I invite you to embrace your fears, hand them over to The Universe, open your heart to love and anything is truly possible.

I had a really hard week this past week.  I was totally honest on my blog and it backfired.  Well, it didn’t backfire so much as my truth didn’t fit with that of others.  There were harsh words spoken (actually written) and I was caught off guard to say the least.  But as the image that was held of me crumbled and a couple of “loved ones” fought tooth and nail against the “new” me, a beautiful thing occurred.  My readers and friends started to stick up for me.  Some of them shared how they could relate to my story.  Others simply cheered me on for speaking up.  A few defended me in a way that made their love and concern clear to me.  And I had the incredible realization that I was finding *my* people.  

I think attraction works in two ways, you attract those that are opposite and those that are like you.  As you bring these people into your existence you are made acutely aware of what is in your heart.  When you are with your opposites, you feel assaulted, uncomfortable, and uncertain.  Their presence makes you question yourself.  They make you take a closer look at what you value and desire in life.  When you meet with your matches, you feel excited, loved, and ALIVE.  You see all of their beauty and you want to wrap yourself up in it.  They reflect everything good about you and you fall in love, not just with them but with who you are in their presence. 

I believe that when you embrace who you really are - your passions, flaws, talents, mistakes - you begin to open up.  Being authentic seems to send out some signal to the rest of the world.  Suddenly, before your eyes people start showing up who share your beliefs and desires.  You are suddenly aware that you are not alone and that you belong to a tribe. 

I believe that all of us have a tribe.  Sometimes your tribe consists of family or friends that have been with you from your earliest days.  Sometimes it’s people who left and have returned.  I’m also finding it can be made up of people from all over the world, some of whom you may never see face to face.  But *your* people are definitely out there and the key to finding them is being true to yourself.  Your peace and happiness are not worth compromising.